Who Are You?

How do you define yourself? Are you constantly looking to other people to tell you who you are? I’m telling you that it’s okay to make your own choices and come into your own at your own pace! In today’s society, the media is so controlling about how men and women should view themselves. I’m tired of it. You don’t have to define yourself by material things, the next trend, or what other people think you should be. It’s okay to be yourself, no matter what that means. 

 

 

You might be a son, daughter, friend, worker, or what have you. You’re connected to people and the relationships you have with them, but that doesn’t mean you should get lost in those definitions. You are whatever you want to be: a lover, a fight, artist, bad-ass, creator, thinker, beautiful, smart, daring, eccentric. There are so many words you can use, but a label is not what matters. 

Don’t get bogged down by the stereotypes and the person people think you were meant to be. Happiness is much more important. If people think you’re lazy, let them think that. They may not know your whole story, the kids you have to care for, the two jobs you’re working at, or crazy homework schedule that keeps you at home. There are so many different versions of you out there, but only you know the right one.

Everyone has their perceptions about who you are and who they think you should be. You show a side of you to a friend that you would never show to an employer. You play a part that you think is appropriate for the situation, and sometimes it’s not the true you. Make sure you never lose that true self, and always remind yourself that you have choices. If you don’t feel right in a job, quit. If your friendship is toxic, leave. You don’t have to let other people make decisions for you or seek their approval.

Yes, sometimes these things are necessary to forge relationships and make big life decisions. Other people’s input is important, but if you solely rely on it, your true self will become lost. Don’t follow all the latest trends unless you want to. Don’t boycott something your favourite celebrity doesn’t like unless you want to. There are so many things out there influencing you, and you might get confused about who you really are. 

 

 

This is just a reminder to be mindful of the environment around you. Which people are a positive influence in your life? Who’s trying to change who you are? What media outlets are tainting you? Make choices that make you happy and that are best for you. Find the balance that works for you so you’re not becoming the person you hate while also pushing your loved ones away. Live a life that you’re proud of and always remind yourself who you are. 

 

Rainbow Flag

So, it’s that time of year for Gay Pride celebrations. I’m all for people celebrating who they are and I understand what struggles people of that sexual orientation have gone through. I don’t hate people for being gay, but do we really need those parades? Do we need celebrations like this every year? I don’t get it, but it’s not my call. Go do what you want and I won’t judge you for it or protest it.

Throughout British Columbia lower mainland, the cities have been painting crosswalks with the rainbow flag. Okay, fine, that doesn’t affect me so it’s not something I’m going to complain about. I’m certainly not going to vandalize it like someone did in Cloverdale ten days after it’s painted. Why would you deface that symbol? You’re not going to change anything and you’re just showing you’re a jerk who hates gay people. Just go do your thing and let people celebrate who they are. I don’t have to be part of the celebration, but I would never deface such an important symbol to so many people.

Now, this post may seem contradictory, but I hope my point got across well enough. I’m not trying to be a jerk, and you can definitely disagree with anything that I say. I’m just trying to say that I support people who are gay, but I’m not going to participate in the festivities. I guess you could say I’m neutral. I would never vandalize or hurt someone for being gay, and I don’t see the need for a parade. Even still, I don’t care if it happens if it makes people happy. I hope this comes across okay and if it doesn’t, then I guess there’s nothing I can do about other people’s thoughts and reactions.

Stranger People

I recently heard about a celebrity who had to deactivate her Twitter account because she was being bullied. This actress is Millie Bobbie Brown, from the show Stranger Things, and she’s only FOURTEEN! People were creating memes with her pictures that showcased her as a homophobic person. I don’t think she is, but even if she was what gives people the right to attack her like that? She’s just a kid, and no bullying is right in my book.

I think sometimes we forget that celebrities are human, and don’t think that they’ll ever see our mean comments or stupid memes. News Flash: they do! I think Millie was super mature for just taking herself off the internet instead of fighting back. She didn’t deserve to be treated that way. No one does, even if you disagree with their beliefs. Stop internet bullying and mind your own damn business!

The Race Card

I’m not one for making political statements, but sometimes I feel the need to speak up. This article will NOT be an attack on anyone, but just my honest opinion about how I see the world. If you disagree with me, that’s perfectly fine and I welcome your opinions. I only ask that you express those opinions in a kind and open-minded way, as I will try to do now.

 

Do you remember when you were born, and you picked out what race you wanted to be? You don’t? Well, that’s because it doesn’t work that way. No one has a choice what life they were born into, but they can decide what to do with what they’re given.

 

I am white, and I had no choice in that. Just like you don’t have a choice in being your race. That’s just who you are, and you shouldn’t have to apologize for that. Yes, you may think that because I’m white I have more privileges, but I will never apologize for the colour of my skin. I will never apologize for the mistakes of my ancestors who stole First Nations’ land (and are all dead now, by the way). I will never carry the shame of other people’s wrongdoings or a decision I had nothing to do with. No one should have to apologize for these things.

 

I will, however, apologize if I act like a jerk or make a mistake in the present. I will feel guilt for bad things that I myself have done, but you can’t expect me to feel bad for the sole reason that I am white. I don’t expect any race to feel that way. I couldn’t care less what race you are. As long as you’re a good person, I’ll treat you with the respect you deserve.

 

We need to stop judging everyone just because of how they look. Isn’t that the message we’ve been trying to teach ourselves for the last couple hundred years?? No one should be exempt from that. I don’t think it’s right to shame any white person, or any person in general, that had nothing to do with another race’s oppression. If you’re just looking for something to complain about it, that’s not a productive way to live.

 

When is everyone on this Earth going to stop paying the price for something that happened so long ago? Can’t we just learn from the past and move on? Stop making people feel bad for things they literally cannot control. I don’t know the life that you’ve lived, because I’m not you. You don’t know my life either, and though our struggles may be different, my life isn’t privileged just because I’m white.

 

Nowadays, many businesses strive to hire diverse people so they’re not seen as discriminatory. There are tons of scholarships for First Nations that others don’t have. I’m not saying this is a bad thing. My point is that the world isn’t as racist as it used to be. It’s still a problem, or course, but so many people make blanket statements about certain races that just aren’t true for each individual.

 

All I ask is that people respect each other. You don’t have to agree with their views or the way they live, but you do have to understand that there’s nothing you can do to change it. People believe what they want to believe, and they hold onto the past for dear life. Well, I say, let go and start doing the best you can to survive like the rest of us.

 

Distracted Driving

Many organizations, rightly so, are fighting to end drunk driving and driving while talking on the phone. There are so many ways now to get home safely without driving yourself, and that’s a huge step for society. Unfortunately, there’s not much light shed on distracted driving.

 

To me, distracted driving is not just from cellphones. It’s when you’re driving while drinking coffee, putting on your makeup, eating lunch, or doing anything aside from focusing on the road. Driving should not be a multitasking activity. Driving itself forces you to think about several things at once without you reading a book or playing around with the radio.

 

It kills me how many accidents there are every day, especially on major highways. How are people allowed to keep their licenses if they can barely drive in ideal conditions? Don’t even get me started on how they drive in the snow or the rain.

 

I’ve had my driver’s license for a couple years now and it appalls me how bad some people are. If your eyes are not on the road in front of you, the only other safe place is looking in the rear view to check on your kid or doing a shoulder check. What is your rush that you can’t wait to make a phone call or fix your eyeliner until you’re OFF the road?

 

People think they’re invincible. “Yeah, I’m an expert driver. I drive with my knees and make a four-course meal right in the car!” People get complacent. People don’t understand how much of a danger they are to other people by not making driving their number one priority.

 

To add to the chaos, cars now come with hands-free everything. That’s fine in theory. It’s like the “if you can’t beat them, join them” mentality, but it’s still a part of distracted driving! If you’re fiddling around with buttons trying to work your hands-free calling or whatever else, you’re not focused on the car you’re about to rear end.

 

Many people on the road tend to be oblivious, and they don’t care about hitting anyone as long as they reach their destination. We live in a world where time is more valuable than making sure you don’t hit a kid or skid along black ice.

 

Where I live, there’s no mandatory course you have to take before you get your driver’s license. That is a bad idea. We need to bring back driver’s education in high school, and for the places that already have it, find a way to improve on it. There are too many irresponsible drivers out there, and it makes it that much harder for newbies like me to learn in peace!

 

When you’re the driver, focus on your main task – DRIVING! Stop worrying about all the things you’re going to miss on social media in the ten minutes it takes you to drive to work. Get up earlier so you have more time to do your makeup or eat breakfast. BETTER YET, prioritize eating and skip the makeup routine for today. It won’t kill you, but distracted driving might!

 

Celebrities

I’ve got two questions for you:

  1. Why do we pay celebrities so much?
  2. Why do we feel entitled to their lives?

 

 

Let’s start with the first question. Yes, celebrities put in countless hours, work irregular shifts, and must put up with a lot of crap. But who decides how much to pay these people? Why do they deserve to live in fancy houses and buy gold cars and exotic animals just because they can?

 

Some celebrities go through a lot physically and mentally for a role, so I understand the compensation for that. My concern is why do we give them so much money just because they’ve been deemed A-List by some pointless rating system? Then, especially on sitcoms or long running shows, they ask for MORE MONEY! Are you not making enough already? You need to buy two mansions because your first one got too dusty?

 

I’m all for making money, but I just need enough to be comfortable and live on my own. Yes, lots of celebrities are philanthropists and put their money to good use, but when J.K. Rowling lost her billionaire status for donating too much to charity people went crazy! Someone needs to explain this to me because I just don’t get it. Who decides these wages??

 

 

Now, onto the second question. I’m guilty of this too sometimes, but why do we care so much about the latest scandal? Why do we feel the need to invade someone’s privacy to find out who’s pregnant or who had an affair with whom? Then we get mad when celebrities don’t want to talk to their fans in public or take pictures with random people they don’t know.

 

WE. ARE. NOT. ENTITLED. TO. THEIR. LIVES. Yes, their fans made them famous, but that doesn’t mean they HAVE to stop and chat with us if we see them on the street. That doesn’t mean we can take pictures of them eating lunch or spread rumors about who they’re sleeping with. People see celebrity gossip as a form of entertainment, and I think that makes us forget that we’re dealing with real people.

 

No one was really born famous, unless their parents were already famous. No one chooses their parents or upbringing, so why do we treat celebrities so differently? They were regular kids just like us once, so stop getting mad if they don’t want to talk to random fan girls. We all have bad days, and no one, not even celebrities, want to be interrupted during those days.

 

Just remember that celebrities are people too. They deserve our respect and to keep their privacy. If they want to share something about their lives with us, that’s their choice. They don’t have to do anything for their fans because they’re famous. People made them famous because they had talent, and everyone loved them. We CHOOSE who our celebrities are, but that doesn’t mean we can invade their personal lives.

 

Celebrities are real people, and you shouldn’t find that shocking. They have the same rights as everyone else. Yes, their lives come with extra perks, but we chose to give that to them. Just let them live their lives, and don’t use them as escape from your problems. Focus on what really matters in your life, and connect with your own friends and family. Stop living vicariously through other people.

Success

We all have achievements, and whether they’re big or small, that doesn’t matter. It’s still an achievement and you should be proud of it. The problem with success, is that it automatically comes with failure. When that happens, people tend to focus on the failure, and not the good things that have or will come.

 

Most of us just want “get rich quick” schemes. We think we’ve tried everything we can to succeed through hard work, and are tired of losing. We decide to give up and take the easy route. We tend to forget how far we’ve come to make it to where we currently are. Failures fill our heads, and they become all we think about. It’s like a poison in our minds that we can never shake. It holds us back, and we don’t know how to fix it.

 

Why do we focus so much on the things we haven’t done or have failed to do? Why don’t we focus on the good things? You graduated high school, you faced a fear, you spoke to your crush, you tried something even though you thought it wouldn’t work out. Focus on those great accomplishments, because they mean something in your life.

 

Yes, you may have lost a job, missed a bill payment, or failed at an entrepreneur venture, but so what? If we start thinking of failures as learning experiences, we’ll all be better off. Say you missed a bill payment. Ask yourself what you learned from that mistake. Was it to construct a better budget? To pay your bills earlier next time? To write things down? These questions may seem trivial, but even the smallest change can have a big impact on your life.

 

Everything can be spun in a positive way. You lost your job? Now you can find a better one. Your start-up company failed? Now you know what not to do. You said the wrong thing to someone you care about? Now you know what their limits are. Yes, you failed, but life goes on. You can’t change the past, so why not change the future? Make the decision to be a better person, and take all your life experiences with you to improve.

 

Don’t consider your failures as baggage. Think of them as experiences that led you one step closer to success. None of us want to admit we failed, but that’s like saying we’re not human. Being human means to accept ups and downs in all their forms. If you learn to accept yourself, and never give up, you will earn your success one day.

 

We all want a quick fix to life’s problems, but that’s not how it works. So, the next time you fail, don’t call it a failure. Call it a stepping stone, a lesson, or whatever helps you stay motivated to keep moving forward. Failure is part of life, and once you accept that, you’ll be much better off.

Commercial’s Necessity

Watching television is a popular pastime in my home. So, naturally, we must deal with commercials. I don’t know about you, but we always wonder why we have to put up with so many commercials related to everyday items we’d buy regardless of a commercial. Toilet paper, laundry detergent, batteries, etc. It’s all on there. But why?

 

The simple answer is that we live in a society of consumerism and competition. Take toilet paper commercials. I can name three brands off the top of my head that I’ve seen commercials for in the last few days. The people they’re advertising to don’t live in the wild, and they don’t need to be reminded to “enjoy the go.”

 

What these businesses do want to remind you of, is that their product is superior. To them, it’s all about making money. These businesses create advertisements, so you’re reminded how great a brand like Charmin or Cottonelle is. They want you to forget about the cheap name brands that still serve the same purpose. They want you to buy the expensive eighteen roll pack because their product is so soft and luxurious.

 

The goal of these advertisements is to get you to buy the product, and remind you who has the best toilet paper. Who needs no name when you can have the fabulous experience of plush toilet paper that’s a vacation for your bum? Forget no name, because the brands are where it’s at. Don’t let your family live in the dark ages. Are you really going to let them down like this? How dare you make your family use two-ply! You need our ultimate ten-ply luxury with added wetness for a clean wipe! That’s the mentality of these businesses. I’ll let you decide how far I exaggerated things.

 

The point is, no, we don’t NEED these advertisements, but with how many competitors are out there, they won’t go away anytime soon. The commercials help you decide what brand is best. Because you and your family deserve the best, right? If you don’t buy brand name, you don’t care about your family! If you ask me, these companies should just work together and supply the ultimate toilet paper product. It’s not like they won’t make money!

 

In my opinion, toilet paper is toilet paper, though I understand why businesses need to advertise. Every brand of it serves the same purpose, so you might consider going for the cheapest brand and spend your extra money on something more valuable. Mankind survived for years without this type of luxury. Yet, we don’t usually consider toilet paper a luxury. It’s such a normal part of our lives, and we don’t think about what we would do if we didn’t have it.

 

I know I’m rambling on about toilet paper, but I guess my main message is think about why a commercial exists. Companies fluff up their advertising to hypnotize you into buying their products. Hopefully, you’re smart enough to think about which brands you actually want to support, or if it’s fine just to buy no name. I’m part of the consumerism society, there’s no denying that, but I try to think about how I spend my money and what price is really worth the product.

 

I’m rambling now, so I’ll end it here. Just remember, we live in a consumerist society all about competition. Try not to get sucked into the drama and think about what you’re buying and why.

The Time

Time is our survival key,

But we are its creators.

It owns us on the daily,

But we forget all the players.

 

If we stop and look around,

Enjoy the world as it is,

We’ll stop rushing to hit the ground,

Faster than we stood.

 

We think about better tomorrows,

As the sun sets and rises,

Not really doing anything,

To change the morning skies.

 

Running on the hamster wheel,

We can’t live in the moment.

We don’t know how to pause,

Grab life’s horns and own it.